When Your Child Has a Strong-Willed Personality by Carl Pickhardt

Author:Carl Pickhardt
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: ebook, book
Publisher: Adams Media, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
Published: 2008-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

• Requesting information

• Holding accountable

• Asking questions

• Confronting issues

• Checking performance

• Giving directions

• Setting conditions

• Applying consequences

• Advising choices

• Stating prohibitions

• Maintaining supervision

• Making judgments

• Stating expectations

• Enforcing rules

Through these and other corrective acts, you establish authoritative standing with the child. When you start practicing these acts, you can create or reclaim an authoritative presence in the child’s life—so long as you mean what you say and are committed to backing up your words with actions if it’s required to convince your child that you are serious. When words alone don’t work, you must take action to show you mean business.

Contributive Authority

An equally powerful source of authority, which the willful child may take for granted because demanding makes it so easy to get, is contributive authority—acts that demonstrate how parental authority can benefit the child. Parents have the power to do many things for the child that the child, no matter how willful, is unable to do for herself. When children experience and appreciate what parental authority is good for (“My parents can help me figure out my homework when I get stuck”), they realize that it is not all bad. Consider just a few of the ways contributive parental authority can be of use:

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